my lessons in tease, orgasm denial and Femdom control training

Posts tagged “slave

Dreamlover 2000 Review: First impressions

After months of waiting, the Dreamlover 2000 unit finally arrived today. First, neither Mistress Cassandra nor I are affiliated with Dreamlover Labs in any way so this is an unbiased, non-promotional account of my first impressions. Second, for those of you that posted disparaging comments about this site being a hoax or fantasy, you were wrong. As you can see in the photo, my unit arrived with all the components as advertised and they look gorgeous. The remote, with its highly polished plastic shell, is a thing of beauty. At only 3 inches tall and ¼ inch think, it’s smaller than I expected.  It comes complete with a small molded hole for easily attachment to a key ring and it’s thin enough to be slipped into a bra (not that I would know about such things). It’s the perfect accessory item for any fashion your Mistress may choose to wear; casual, formal or maybe something a bit more devastating… The receiver unit is very compact enabling unobtrusive attachment beneath clothing. The USB link is, well… a USB stick. Overall the components are attractive and look professional.


In preparation for the big day, I grabbed the DL Uplink software from the downloads area at the DL site and installed. (You can download and try this software in demo mode even if you don’t have the device.) Everything worked as advertized with only a minor issue with Windows 7 permissions. I reported my findings and WOW, such responsive support. They quickly replicated the problem, sent me a new version and even gave me a credit on their blog! Nice touch. Installing the drivers on Windows 7 was a bit of a problem because of MS signing requirements, so I quickly moved to a Vista machine and had no issues. (DL support informed me there is a simple way to work around the Win 7 restrictions) With the drivers running, I fired up the application and it asked me to set the owner for this receiver. Once completed, I couldn’t help myself. I had to hit a button to see if everything was communicated. Sure enough, pressing the pager selection yielded several reassuring “chirps” from the receiver unit. So far so good.  


I attached the required connections to my old school CB3000 without any problems. The instructions on the DL site were clear and self-explanatory.  I hand tightened the plastic nut to prevent stripping the threads.  The resulting configuration is seen in the picture below. There is plenty of opportunity for optimization in the mounting, but more on that in later posts. I was getting anxious to try out the features.


The only customization I wanted initially was to name the silent commands for Mistress Cassandra. Remember, a good submissive goes out of his way to make life easier for his Mistress. To do this, I entered the customization panel on the DL Uplink software, found the silent command panel and type them in. Whoops, they didn’t seem to be saved. Trying again, I retyped them and modified the tempo up one tick and then back down. Sure enough, when navigating away from the panel I was prompted to save the silent command modifications to disk. Even better, when I logged into the web management panel on the Nexus, those new names appeared! Again unable to resist, I selected one of the silent commands I had just named from the web console. Sure enough, a few seconds later the receiver chirped and vibrated the requested command to the disembodied receiver. Hey, this is really fun!


The time had come; it was the moment of truth. Time to be saddled up and feel those electronic spurs. It took a little finesse, but I finally got everything in place and properly positioned. I was ready for the first test. I selected “pager” since it was advertized as minimal severity, attention-getting pulses. Sure enough, it got my attention! I’m sure most of you want to know what it felt like. If you have ever experienced a TENS unit, then you know roughly the sensation but in a single, short pulse. For those who haven’t had this experience, imagine a clamp with dull points that closes on the contact areas for a very brief period of time and then is gone. It’s startling; not pleasurable but not overtly painful either. Summoning my courage, I issued “Low” and “Med” pulses. These induced the same sensations yet more intense. Finally the “High” pulse was issued with some trepidation. More intense, not painful, but definitely not something you want to repeat. The technique DL uses is quite effective in grabbing your attention and persuading you to be a good boy. I’m sure Mistress Cassandra will have loads of fun zapping my privates to get my attention, reinforce her authority and to improve my productivity. She has indicated that this weekend will be interesting.


I didn’t have time to play with all the modes and features yet (there are so many). Overall the Dreamlover 2000 is a unique, well designed and manufactured product. The hardware is attractive, solid and reflects a dedication to quality engineering that is not found in many sex toy manufacturers. Mounding the electrodes for long-term wear will be a little challenging, but with some experimentation and creativity those challenges can be easily overcome. (Dreamlover Labs has done the really hard part; designing the electronics, writing the software and getting it to market.) The software and features are unique and very usable. The issues I found are minor and never put the user in harm’s way. The support is fantastic! I received a new software version fixing the silent mode naming issue from the Dreamlover team even before finishing this post. WOW, when was the last time that happened with a product? Look for more news here as I become the dreamlover Mistress Cassandra requires. Better yet, give my creative Misttress a call and become a dreamlover yourself!


Intense erotic tension with Kali and Mistress Cassandra

Imagine if you will that you have been denied for 3 weeks; continually locked in a chastity cage that prevents any form of self stimulation or erection. Then, suddenly, you’re freed from the confines of the cage. You can, for the first time in weeks, feel the breeze on your cock as the wind blows past. You can see the part of your body that gives you so much pleasure and torment unharnessed. The plastic and metal that have prevented you from receiving the gratification you’ve desired for so long is now absent. But there’s a catch. With Mistress Cassandra there is always a catch. The chastity cage enclosing your cock has been replaced with a locking Kali Bracelet, an open metal ring with sharp points (or teeth) lining the interior. As long as you can remain flaccid, the teeth won’t intrude on your sensitive member. However, an erection would be punished by Kali’s painful bite. This scenario creates an intensely erotic dilemma. Not only can’t you touch the flesh which has been imprisoned for so many days, you are now prevented from even thinking about it. Erotic thoughts must be quickly dismissed to avoid arousal which would be detrimental to your manhood. It is then you realize that clever Mistress Cassandra is now not only controlling your actions but your thoughts as well. To increase the torment, you’re informed that the orgasm you so crave may be granted today. The longer you remain in Kali’s clutches, the better your chances of being allowed relief. What a paradox! Do you beg for release quickly and diminish the probably of orgasm? Do you endure the erotic tension of trying to avoiding sexual thoughts in the hopes of increasing your chances? I managed to survive for over 6 hours under this sword of Damocles when finally Mistress Cassandra granted me a reprieve. I thankfully removed the bracelet and followed my Mistress’ additional detailed instructions (almost).

A Vanilla Wife, a Gifted Mistress and me

If you’ve read Mistress Cassandra’s blog, then you already know my somewhat unique situation. However, since many who happen upon this site have not had the reward of perusing her writings, I will describe it again here. Business requires me to spend much of my time in Silicon Valley. This creates a personal challenge since over the course of many, many years I built a life and raised children with my wife on the east coast. Being absent from my eastern home for 2 to 4 weeks at a time definitely has its downsides, but surprisingly, introduces a few benefits as well. My wife and I both actively work to enjoy our limited time together and that avoids the staleness normally accompanying an endless routine.

Finding Mistress Cassandra

Having a lifelong unfulfilled fetish for Femdom, I would occasionally surf the web for sites that feed this desire when the need arose. Earlier this year, I came across Mistress Cassandra’s site and something just clicked. I later described the effect to Mistress as “haunting”. Over the course of several weeks, I returned again and again; reading the details of how she expertly dominated and controlled men from afar. So, uncharacteristic for me, I called and talked to this talented Mistress of chastity. Intuitively she understood my wants, needs and desires and kindly accepted me as a slave-in-training for Femdom orgasm management exclusively by her when I was located on the west coast. Thus, my days (and long nights) of instruction began as I became her chastity slave.

Chastity Training in Baby Steps

Mistress began slowly, baby steps as she would say, to modify my daily activities into that of a good submissive. I was required to purchase a cocklock and submit to random chastity inspections via webcam. Orgasms were, of course, forbidden except by my Mistress’ explicit permission. The effect of all this was intoxicating. After years of fantasies, I now had a real dominatrix controlling and directing the most intimate details of my sexuality. Of course I probably could have cheated in this chastity training, but I vowed never to do that. For some reason (Mistress says it is because I’m a true submissive) it was important for me to earn her praise and approval. She was, and still is, strict. In those early days of my training I had not been granted the privilege of see her instant messaging status and thus had to be ready for her direction at all times. I worked hard to meet or exceed all of her rules and requirements. Interestingly, the rewards, and occasional punishment, Mistress Cassandra favored me with motivated me in unexpected ways. It went beyond just trying to earn the all too infrequent sexual release, I truly wanted to please and pamper her.

Mistress Cassandra’s Slave-In-Absentia

My motivations changed, I set to the task of being a joy in her life. By this I mean it was no longer about what she would do to me, it was all about what I could do for her. I tried to anticipate requests, create thought-provoking messages on topics that interested her and generally find ways to make her life better. For these efforts, I was rewarded with the status of slave-in-absentia, someone who could perform daily activities, albeit remotely, that would enrich her life. So, to this day I continue to look for ways to please my wonderful Mistress. She gives me assignments, like this blog, and I carry out those instructions to the best of my abilities and in a manner that hopefully reflects both my appreciation and devotion to her. I am proud to call her my Mistress and will do what I can to achieve my coveted reward… hearing her say “good boy”.

Essential Reading for Male Chastity Slaves and their Femdom Mistress Keyholders

The quintessential guides to Female Domination

Female Domination – Elise Sutton
The Femdom Experience – Elise Sutton
Worshiping Your Wife – Mark Remond
Uniquely Rika – Ms Rika

Understanding the Male Chastity Experience

Male Chastity: A Guide for Keyholders – Lucy Fairbourne
Be Careful What You Wish For… The Ultimate Guide to Male Chastity – Sarah Jameson
Everything you wanted to know about male chastity, but were afraid to ask. These ladies are experts in the science of harnessing the male potential.

The Tongue is Mightier than the Sword

Oral Sex She’ll Never Forget: 50 Positions and Techniques That Will… – Sonia Borg Ph.D.
She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman – Ian Kerner
How can you pleasure your mistress when your cocklocked? Reading to improve your oral knowledge and technique. Remember, Mistress comes first!

Classic Fiction that Defined the Genre

The Woman of the House – G. F. Green
A once traditional marriage evolves into a remarkable Dominant/submissive relationship, as Pricilla becomes Goddess to her submissive husband, and trains him to serve her every need-from free man, to slave for life, contract-bound to please. A delightful primer on the virtues and rewards of a Female-in-power relationships.

The Yes Man – G. F. Green
Read of a young man’s journey into enslavement to a naturally superior woman.

Debbie’s Gift – Amity Harris
The classic internet story of high-tech male chastity and Femdom male management. Soon to be brought to life by DreamLover Labs?

Jessica – The Mule
What would a collection of female domination stories be without one where a secretary dominates her boss?

Making of a Mistress – The Mule
Is a dominatrix born or made? Link points to a text file containing the introduction. Additional chapters are in the same location.

Essential Audio Links

Hot audios recorded by Mistress Cassandra in her oh so sexy, teasing and sultry voice. A must listen for all male chastity enthusiasts.
Mistress Cassandra
The Chastity Show
Tease and Torment
Chastity Mistress

An open letter to Mistress Cassandra

To the wonderful woman I have the honor to call my Mistress!

It was so very enjoyable to talk and play with You last night. I was tired from the day’s work but You weaved your magic, as You always do, to drive me to intense levels of frustration with no other thought than to hear you grant permission for orgasm. All the day’s worries melted away and all that was left was pure, unbridled passion. The parachute action was intense; I still feel its erotic ache this morning. The prostate massage was delicious; goading me on to higher levels of desire. The nipple clamps were cruel yet motivating. The electro, especially where you had me attach, was forceful and fervent. Completing my attire with the posture collar, a technique that forced me to look directly at Your lovely features, was truly inspired. Then when You had me properly harnessed, impaled, clamped and charged, You played with my lust like a cat plays with its prey. On and on it went with time standing still. I was the violin and You were the virtuoso performer. You kept playing and the music was so sweet and passionate. You kept me hoping, begging, praying for release for so, so long. But alas, in the end You denied me and so the night passed slowly, my lust still fueled by Your sexy voice echoing in my brain. It is only your continuous conditioning which prevents me from putting out the fire You ignited. I surrender to Your supervision and will follow Your instructions as dictated. Thank You, my exquisite Mistress Cassandra.

With admiration and affection,

Tease and Denial, Mistress Cassandra Style

When I have been good, Mistress Cassandra will allow me to go free-range (an amusing euphemism for being uncaged) for a short time. This gift is usually granted after being locked continuously for at least a week. The feeling of freedom is heavenly after these long periods of restraint and I attempt to savor each moment that is allowed. When my creative Mistress does finally permit release from the cocklock, it is accompanied by its own unique torments; specifically tease and denial. She has developed many deliciously cruel techniques to intensify my already acute frustration during this time. I never know which training method She will impose, but I accept my fate as a good chastity slave must.

Tease of Damocles

This method of teasing is insidious in its elegance. Through some random mechanism, or occasionally just at Her whim, Mistress determines the length of time I will remain uncaged but keeps this information a secret. The duration may be as short as 15 minutes or as long as 24 hours. During this interval I am permitted as much recreational stimulation as I desire, without orgasm of course. A touch, any touch, so long denied feels exquisite. With my body craving the satisfaction, I indulge. Since Mistress’s instant message declaring playtime is over can arrive at any moment, the drive to take advantage of my unlocked condition spurs me to ever greater levels self induced frustration. When the time finally expires and Her message appears, I reluctantly lock the CB-6000 back on my unrelieved member for another indeterminate term of imprisonment.

Free Style Tease

When given this assignment, I am required to stimulate myself to the edge of orgasm a fixed number of times as specified by my demanding Mistress. Additionally, I may be given restrictions or requirements to compound the effect of the tease. For example, some of Her favorites are to required that each edge be separated by a complete loss of erection or that the edges be no closer together than 15 minutes. On some occasions the edges are required on the hour and instant messages must be sent to confirm compliance with the possibility of on camera inspection. At the end of this mission, I must write a report detailing when each edge was performed and what I was thinking during each excruciating event.

Femdom Fiction Tease

Mistress Cassandra requires that I keep Her informed of new works in the Femdom and chastity genres. To this end, I may be required to read and review new literature during my cocklock hiatus. (Reading erotic Femdom fiction while locked is a punishment I desperately try to avoid.) I am either given a novel by Mistress or recommend one for Her approval and then am assigned the tasks of reading and submitting my review of the book along with any original techniques or unique scenarios presented. Since books on these topics tend to inflame my already tortured libido, I spend much of my allotted free range time rampant and unrelieved. I’m sure this is my Mistress’s devilish intent. I am sometimes quizzed on enslavement techniques and Femdom orgasm management so I must study the prescribed manuscript in agonizing detail.

What is a good chastity slave?

The first rule for a chastity slave is to always remain chaste for his Mistress. This means NO CHEATING… EVER. Adherence to this rule is paramount. If you are lucky enough, as I am, to have a Mistress that cares sufficiently to cocklock and dominate you, don’t ruin it by cheating. You will feel guilty. You will fail to perform to expectations. Worst of all, you disrespect Her by cheating and no lasting bond can survive that. Rather than cheating, channel all those desires into productive actions that will please your Mistress. Activities such as cleaning the house for Mistress, composing your Mistress a song or writing Mistress a blog are examples of converting all that pent up sexual energy into positive and useful tasks. I heartily recommend this approach because it increases satisfaction 😉 for both you and your Mistress. The second rule is total obedience; always carry out the commands and desires of your Mistress in a timely manner to the best of your ability. A lazy or insubordinate slave will soon be dismissed by any sensible Mistress. So, if you want Her to keep you around, take pride in your duties and complete them with distinction. Always remember that obedience is rewarded 🙂 while disobedience is punished.

Obeying these first two rules will make you a chastity slave, but how to be good chastity slave? Always be a joy for your Mistress. You should be the least stressful, lowest maintenance thing in Her life. Do everything you can to make Her happy and looking forward to your next encounter. You should listen carefully to determine what brings Her pleasure. Be caring and attentive to Her needs and desires. Surprise Her with occasional gifts that demonstrate your responsiveness to Her wishes. Don’t whine about being locked. An occasional quip, delivered humorously, about the condition of Her cock should fetch a smile, but don’t be tedious. Don’t be sullen when you’re not released. That’s completely under Her control and discretion. Rather, accept it and strive even harder (pun intended) to earn the gift of free-range, at least for a while. Be creative. Going above and beyond Her basic requirements will impress. For example, dress in a suit or tuxedo for Mistress’s periodc inspection. Take the initiative to advance your relationship by suggesting further acts of submission to Her. Offer to wear tags or a collar to demonstrate your devotion. Finally, be loyal and honest with your Mistress. Do all of these things, and you might just be a good chastity slave who receives the ultimate reward…

More Than a Number?

I call my Mistress for the first time. Slowly, stumbling over the words, I explain my desires, my needs, and my longings. She listens carefully. Picking up every nuance and clue both spoken and not. Then vigilantly begins Her probing. Little questions, voiced so sweetly, that strip away any pretence of modesty that I my try to maintain. With the skill of a surgeon She deftly reveals what I most want and fear. Then, when I’m most vulnerable She begins the process of asserting Her authority. Patently, yet firmly, She describes the journey I will undertake. I listen with rapt attention. I am excited, apprehensive, and most of all captivated. I cannot deny Her. So with trembling hands following instructions as best I could, I enclose myself in the CB3000 and with a sigh of despair, click the lock shut. My keyholder’s haunting laugh echoes in my ears as the realization sinks in that I am Hers for as long as She commands. Later that day, Mistress Cassandra’s blog publishes my lock number for all the world to see. I now know the true implications of what it means to be a chastity slave. My body and my fate now firmly in the control of Her lovely hands. My task is now simple; wait. Wait for Her to contact me. Wait for Her to inspect me. Wait for Her to command me. Wait for Her to release me. Minutes pass… Hours pass… The physical struggle of being confined combine with the mental struggle of subjugation to form a torturous ecstasy. As the days pass, rebellion gives way to acceptance. I am number #180040.